In Flagrante Delicto
by AriaAdagio
Summary: Is Nick really the angsty, depressed vampire that he seems to be?


IN FLAGRANTE DELICTO  
  
Disclaimers - Well, I was in a silly mood tonight, as you   
will soon see :) This little scenario just sorta...   
developed as I wrote, and it hasn't been beta read, so be   
warned. These characters aren't mine, etc. etc. You know   
the drill. Permission is granted to archive at the ftp   
site, and fkfanfic.com. Comments, questions, and whatnot   
may be sent to Diane Harris at aria5@vt.edu   
  
IN FLAGRANTE DELICTO  
  
Nat stared at the corpse on the table with an ever   
increasing amount of boredom. Same old, same old. Idiot   
does something stupid and gets killed. Good ol' coroner   
has to cut em up and find out whodunit and all that...   
  
She shook her head harshly, surprised at her poor state of   
mind. What on Earth had gotten her into this mood?   
Goodness, she was feeling negative...   
  
Absently, she reached over and turned the dial on the radio.   
  
"Mr. Nightcrawler? I was wondering if you could give me   
some advice, I listen to your show _ALL_ the time..."  
  
A female voice swooned over the radio, and Nat rolled her   
eyes in disgust. How had her radio been turned to _this_   
station? Her hand whipped across the desk and was almost   
going to turn the dial when she decided to give it a few   
minutes. Maybe hearing this pessimistic stuff would knock   
her out of her own rotten mood. After all, things always   
seem brighter when you look at pitch-black...  
  
"Charmed..." LaCroix answered suavely, the sarcasm dripping   
from his oozing voice.  
  
Nat smirked as she settled her head on her hands to listen.   
She couldn't believe people actually called in...  
  
"Well see, it's about this guy. He doesn't notice me at   
all! Nightcrawler, I really need help. You must have   
people drooling over you all the time, how can I do it like   
you?"  
  
LaCroix chuckled forebodingly. "Maybe he doesn't notice   
you," he paused for dramatic effect and continued, "because   
you don't deserve to be noticed..."   
  
"But, Nightcrawler..." The caller was cut off abruptly as   
LaCroix disconnected her, and Nat couldn't help but laugh.   
This was actually kind of amusing. Just how many callers   
did LaCroix dismiss like that?"   
  
"It's been a pleasure, my children, but time is running   
short. Time is _always_ running out. Your clocks are   
ticking down towards death, and mine towards eternity.   
On that note, I shall take my leave of... hrwph!" LaCroix   
stopped his discourse suddenly and let out a small chuckle.   
  
Natalie subconsciously leaned in towards the radio. What   
was that? Why had he stopped in mid-speech? She heard   
mumbling in the background, a crash, a few muttered   
obscenities and then a harsh electronic screech as someone   
grabbed the mike and began to speak.   
  
"Pardon me for that interrupTIONACK! hehehehe!" LaCroix   
started chuckling very loudly and Nat stared at the radio in   
amazement. What on earth?   
  
"OOOOOOH, Nicholas! Stop it! You know I'm ticklish   
therrrrrrrrACK! Hohoho! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Natalie clapped her hands to her face in amazement.   
Nicholas? As in Nick? She shook her head... Naaaaaah. He   
wouldn't do something like that. Not only because he just   
didn't do stuff like that, but because LaCroix would kill   
him for it, at least based on what she'd heard about Nick's  
dictatorial master.   
  
"Ha! Consider this payback for the pink marshmallow   
incident!" Nick's voice rang clear through the radio's   
speakers as LaCroix continued to laugh uncontrollably. Nat   
was floored. Absolutely floored. Not only that it was   
Nick, but... pink marshmallow incident???  
  
"That was HEHEHEOOOOH HAHAHAHAHAHA, that was Janette! I   
swear! I only did the AEIIIIIIII!! The supERGLue and   
PAINT!" There was a thump as more giggling raided the   
airwaves. It sounded like LaCroix had fallen to the   
floor... Natalie strained to hear what was going on, and   
she could vaguely make out what was being said.   
  
"Paint? Superglue?! What superglue??!!!"   
  
"Ooops... HEHEHEHEHEHA! I thought ohoh STOP! That's   
driving me nuts! that you'd seen it already!"  
  
"WHAT SUPERGLUE???? WHAT PAINT???" Natalie broke out   
laughing at Nick's perplexed/angered/annoyed/pleading tone,   
wincing when she heard LaCroix grunt like he was being   
shook.  
  
"Your pretty green CAR isn't GREEN anyHEHEHEHEHEHmore!"   
  
"AEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! I'll GET YOU!!!!!" Nicholas   
cried as if he'd actually been hurt. Natalie smiled. He   
had always been protective of his car...   
  
There was a crash, and then fleeing footsteps. Silence.   
Nat turned the volume all the way up, but it was no use.   
Whatever had been going on was finished. She giggled when   
she thought of those two chasing each other all over   
Toronto. How often did they do stuff like this? She'd   
gotten the impression that Nick absolutely hated LaCroix,   
and here she'd heard him not only engaging in a tickle fight   
with him, but it had been revealed that they had done a lot   
of pranks on each other...   
  
She chuckled. The chuckles quickly turned into a snort and   
a laugh, and pretty soon, she was on the floor rolling in   
laughter. LaCroix had painted Nick's Caddy. And she didn't   
even want to know what the thing about the pink marshmallows   
was... Man o' man... Talk about a good bad mood buster.   
She laughed until she lay panting on the floor, exhausted   
with tears flowing swiftly down her cheeks.   
  
"Nat?!" Nick exclaimed as he walked into the morgue.   
  
She looked up from the floor to see his concerned blue eyes   
peering down at her. Damn, how long had she been on the   
floor? "Yes, Nick?" she asked innocently as she got up off   
the cold tiles.  
  
"What _were_ you doing?"   
  
"Stretching. Autopsies make my muscles tense," she said   
seriously, not wishing to tell Nick that she'd seen through   
his little "I hate my life, I can't escape from LaCroix,   
just let me become mortal and die" facade. "Ahem," she   
cleared her throat experimentally, "but why are you here?"   
she asked innocently. Well, she actually _didn't_ know   
why he was here...   
  
"It's 5:30, you asked me to pick you up... We have a date   
remember?" he questioned her with a look of concern marring   
his beautiful face.   
  
Nat sighed in relief. Yes, they did. She and Nick were   
supposed to watch movies at the loft. "Oh yeah! Let me   
get my purse..." She paused as she thought about the body   
still lying on the table. Oh well. The lab techs would   
pick it up.   
  
Nick looked at her strangely through the whole ordeal, and   
she secretly loved all the attention she was getting. She   
obediently let him lead her out through the winding hallways   
of the Coroners' Building and out into the lightening   
outdoors. Luckily, Nick still had a good thirty minutes   
before he really needed to be inside...  
  
She looked down the walk towards his usual illegal parking   
space and did a double take. It was flamingo pink. PINK!   
And a banner in ghastly puke green paint was glued onto the   
side that said: 'I'm a monster in the morning without my cup   
o' cow'.   
  
Nick saw where her glance was directed. "Sorry, I didn't   
have time to clean it up. Some vandals did it, I don't know   
how..." he hedged, looking back and forth from her to the   
Caddy nervously.  
  
Nat desperately tried to keep the serious look on concern on   
her face, but all was lost when Nick went ahead of her to   
open the door for her. Taped on his back, was a sheet of   
notebook paper that simply stated 'Kick me, I'm a crusader,   
I can take it!'  
  
She doubled over laughing as she felt Nick's cold hands   
enclosing her in an embrace. "Nat? What the Hell is wrong   
with you?!"  
  
But she couldn't answer. She was laughing too hard.  
  
THE END 


End file.
